Posted by: urbanadventurertales | September 9, 2009

What twin moms don’t want to hear

(Before reading, please note that I’m not speaking for ALL twin moms, just myself and some that I am friends with!)

1.  You sure have your hands full!

I probably hear this about 20 times a day when I’m out in public.  I always feel like it puts a negative spin on twins.  Obviously they keep me busy, but anyone who has more than one child will have their “hands full”.  It’s no different with twins.

In fact, oftentimes they will entertain one another.  Like this morning when they read a magazine together and played with a different balls in the living room.

2.  My kids are 15 months apart, so it’s basically like having twins.

No, it’s not.  Having children 15 months apart is challenging.  Having twins is challenging.  One is not more difficult than the other.  But they are different and not comparable.

3.  Double trouble!

Please never say this to anyone.  It’s rude and now that my children are getting old enough to understand it, I don’t want them to ever think of themselves in such a way.

4.  How do you tell them apart!?

So, anyone who spends more than 15 seconds looking at my children can clearly see how I tell them apart.  M has blue eyes, curly dark hair, round face, less teeth, and is bow-legged.  L has brown eyes, straight lighter hair, oval face, bunny teeth, and is pigeon-toed.  Need I go on?

Regardless, I’m their mother.  Even if they were identical, a mother can always tell her children apart

boy

5.  Are they twins?

Okay, now there is truly nothing wrong with asking this question.  I ask moms of other twins this question all the time.  I just hear it 552 times a day, so it gets quite old.  While I absolutely feel honored that people are so interested in the boys and give them so much attention, it would be nice occasionally to be out in public and not have to answer any questions!

6.  Did you do IVF?

Ummm, my fertility is none of your business!  I admit that I’ve only been asked this a couple of times, but it immediately puts me in an awkward position.  I know many of my twin moms get this question quite often, though.

7.  I had a 9 1/2 lb. baby, so I know how you felt at the end of your pregnancy.

I had 11 1/2 lbs. of baby at the end, so you probably don’t know how I felt.

 (Yes, I was REALLY that big!  I was measuring 44 weeks at the end, delivered the boys at 37 weeks.)

In all seriousness, though, I TRULY don’t get upset when people ask these questions or make these comments.  Don’t feel bad if you’ve ever said these things to moms of multiples…it’s not a big deal.  But hopefully this post will give people some things to consider and think about 🙂

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Responses

  1. LOL at #7, i have had people say this too and i just laugh, i always say, “i hardly think you know what 10lbs and over 36″ of babies feel like” i say that when they try to compare what it was like carrying their 8lber.

    I probably hear “you have your hands full” on a daily basis.

    The best comment i have had are the ones that look at my children and then at me and say “You are blessed”.

  2. haha i LOVE this!! I think ive been around you a few thousand times people have asked you those questions! I love that you want to keep it positive-they are GREAT kids!

  3. What a fabulous blog! Congrats on delivering at 37 weeks, that’s full term in twinsspeak! I’ve never asked any of these questions but as a nanny who watched fraternal twin girls, some similar stuff that one heard daily on buggy walks became very rote and annoying so I can sympathize.

  4. My boys are NOT twins but they are mistaken for them on a daily basis. They are to the point when someone looks at them in the grocery store or starts walking up to them they both start saying, “Were NOT twins! Just brothers. Best Friends.”
    At first I thought it was funny/cute when people asked. Now it is just annoying. When asked if they are twins I just respond polietly, “No.” Then I often get, “Oh, they are just friends?” No people they are related! I think the strangers think I was pregnant with #2 as I gave birth to #1! They are not as close as what you think. Poor #1 is also mistaken as the younger one these days. 😦
    I think your boys are adorable and I really enjoyed this post.

  5. Glad I didn’t offend anyone with it! I am trying to add more things to the blog that are twin-specific, so I decided to start with the most common comments I get.
    Brandi- I am sure you get TONS of comments with two sets of twins, I don’t have much to complain about 🙂
    Amanda- I know your boys look the same age cause of height, but I think it’s pretty clear by their faces who is the youngest 🙂 Still has a bit of that “baby look”!

  6. You’re hilarious. Very well put. Love the posts, love the pics! Miss ya! We need to catch up.

  7. I have to laugh at this post! I can so understand it. My twins will be five in December, but the absolutely BEST question I get is, “Are they identical?”……hmmm, one is a boy with white blond hair, the other is a girl with light brown hair…what do you think?

    Enjoyed perusing your blog!

    Take care of those two little blessings!

    Bari

  8. Thats very good to know… thanks


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