(Before reading, please note that I’m not speaking for ALL twin moms, just myself and some that I am friends with!)
1. You sure have your hands full!
I probably hear this about 20 times a day when I’m out in public. I always feel like it puts a negative spin on twins. Obviously they keep me busy, but anyone who has more than one child will have their “hands full”. It’s no different with twins.
In fact, oftentimes they will entertain one another. Like this morning when they read a magazine together and played with a different balls in the living room.
2. My kids are 15 months apart, so it’s basically like having twins.
No, it’s not. Having children 15 months apart is challenging. Having twins is challenging. One is not more difficult than the other. But they are different and not comparable.
3. Double trouble!
Please never say this to anyone. It’s rude and now that my children are getting old enough to understand it, I don’t want them to ever think of themselves in such a way.
4. How do you tell them apart!?
So, anyone who spends more than 15 seconds looking at my children can clearly see how I tell them apart. M has blue eyes, curly dark hair, round face, less teeth, and is bow-legged. L has brown eyes, straight lighter hair, oval face, bunny teeth, and is pigeon-toed. Need I go on?
Regardless, I’m their mother. Even if they were identical, a mother can always tell her children apart
5. Are they twins?
Okay, now there is truly nothing wrong with asking this question. I ask moms of other twins this question all the time. I just hear it 552 times a day, so it gets quite old. While I absolutely feel honored that people are so interested in the boys and give them so much attention, it would be nice occasionally to be out in public and not have to answer any questions!
6. Did you do IVF?
Ummm, my fertility is none of your business! I admit that I’ve only been asked this a couple of times, but it immediately puts me in an awkward position. I know many of my twin moms get this question quite often, though.
7. I had a 9 1/2 lb. baby, so I know how you felt at the end of your pregnancy.
I had 11 1/2 lbs. of baby at the end, so you probably don’t know how I felt.
(Yes, I was REALLY that big! I was measuring 44 weeks at the end, delivered the boys at 37 weeks.)
In all seriousness, though, I TRULY don’t get upset when people ask these questions or make these comments. Don’t feel bad if you’ve ever said these things to moms of multiples…it’s not a big deal. But hopefully this post will give people some things to consider and think about 🙂